You say Amazing I say Ama-Zing
If you have driven around Joburg, even just once, you would have noticed handing out flyers at the robots is not uncommon, one in particular catches my attention every time. It is the infamous DR (insert random African name here) flyers, promising wealth, enlarged penises, increased health etc. These usually also tell you how this AMA-ZING doctor has discovered a new plant that has a magical medicinal property that all the medical scientists in the world have not yet discovered! Ama-zing right?
Most people (I know) would sit down in the morning with their cup of coffee and read the news be it on their computers or the newspaper, me? HA! I have my coffee in the car and wait for the first person handing out my morning amusement. My excitement for the morning, if I don’t get a flyer I know it will not be a good day!
Perhaps one day I should go and see one of these doctors because heaven knows I could do with the winning lotto numbers!
The flyer (all typed out, word for word from the actual flyer I got this morning)
Come & Discover the secret herbs. (this is the heading)
His specialties includes but not limited to (no name today… damit!)
- Finish unfinished work by other doctors without going back to finish work.
- Sickness or problems that other healers have failed to solve for you. (in other words your GP)
- Remove bad lucks, spells out of your way that keeps taking you money away & not progressing in whatever you are doing. (That explains the empty pockets!!)
- Extreme protection for those doing dangerous jobs like Miners, security guards, bank managers etc.
- Eliminate in family fights between children and parents, in-laws, husband & wife and ensure peace and harmony at home.
- Get you married to that love of your life in short time & seal your marriage with internal love & happiness forever (internal or eternal I wonder?? Nah definitely “internal”!)
- Guarantee that you are loved & trusted by your colleagues, husband, wife, in-laws, friends, you both etc.
- Guarantee you win that troubling court case no matter how or what stage. (now I know! Thank you flyer!)
- Ensure sexual satisfaction with lovers to avoid cheating with others for a full satisfaction that might ruin your relationship. (Ladies, we have just been given the secret to making a relationship work. Someone should let Cosmo know!)
- Do you have body or vaginal pains, bad periods, lots of fat, stomach pains. (lots of fat? Is that politically correct?)
- Ensure that promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career ie: sports, politics, music etc (that explains our government…)
- Ensure success in your life or business & turn your trade into a favourite among clients.
- Bring back lost lover even if lost for long time (classic!)
- Quite alcohol, smoking, drugs, using purely herbal therapies with no side effects
- Read and tell your problems before you mention then to him
- Are you diabetic, aged or have high/low blood pressure & it’s affecting your performances. (Now tell me dear doctor, how are you planning on fixing old age?)
